Brody’s Story From Dad

Brody the fighter

Brody, your name derives a Greek word meaning “a muddy place”. It was prophesied over you that you will be like Moses and lead people to the kingdom. From a baby, satan tried to stop the plans of the Lord for Moses. But, Moses was rescued by royalty at the shores of the river. Often times where you will find a muddy place.

Psalm 9:1
The Bannisters will praise Jesus during this time! Although this is the hardest time of our life and we don’t wish this on anyone, this is a time that we recognize we have a supernatural amount of grace and we worship Jesus during this time because no weapon formed against us will prosper!

4/14/23
Never in a million years:
Let me preference by saying, this is my (Angelo) side of this story and Jessica has very similar but different testimony than me)

Jessica and I was so excited to start 2023. Our son was due early January, Brody being our fourth and last child, we had so much preconceived notions of what post patrum was going to look like for us. We have been very lucky with our three girls and had relatively great birth and postpartum stories. So, when it was time for Brody’s birth, we were expecting nothing less. The anticipation build like no other as jess was 2 weeks overdue with him. I’m use to her going a week early so I lightened my schedule early and it’s been super weird since December. But, looking back at it knowing what we knew now, he was just cooking even more. Oh to go back to that time when we loved on our boy in the womb and he was so safe. I’ll save the rest of the birth story, but it was a quick labor. WE HAD A SON! It was incredible feeling, something we never experienced. But this is where the tough part of the story began for us. Although Brody looked perfect, our midwife was concern with his low birth weight and muscles tone. How many of you know, any possibility for concerns makes us start worrying like crazy. But, all of our children prior to Brody was super healthy. I mean super… they never get sick. After the struggle of my wife nursing (a first time struggle for her🙏), we realized he needed more help. This was just the first sign of many more things. Fast forward to a week and half old, we were rushed off to atrium Levines children hospital (per our midwife’s suggestion)in Charlotte where we found out after a very long and exhausting evening our precious son had a large hold (VSD) in his heart. I don’t think Jess and I cried more when we found this out. We were ones that were lucky enough to never need medical assistance for anything. So to go from a family that always was healthy to a family that new reality of open heart surgery and extended stays at the hospital was terrifying to both of us. Let me add that there was nothing we could of done during pregnancy or labor that could of changed his VSD. Turns out 1 and 240 babies born in the US have this congenital heart defect. One of the most common heart defects there is. Once we got to Levines, we eneded up staying there for a week and a half which felt like 2 months at the time. During this stay, Brody was very stable and the only hold up to be discharged was getting a good feeding plan because he struggled with eating. Which is a symptom of having a large VSD. He was growing at a extremely slow rate and at this point the only option was getting him a G-tube. This is a surgical procedure that places a tube from a port staight to his stomach. This is temporary and the hole actually closes up on its own. It actually will close pretty fast so we have to be careful it doesn’t fall out unaware. I don’t think I will ever forget the image of watching them take our son back to the OR. it literally felt like they were taking my heart away from me as they got further down that bright lit hallway. All I could see is “all that hair” (more about his hair later) in a nurses arms as she walked away. Although this surgery was a minor surgery it was a heart break for us. Skipping ahead, he came out of suregery, recovered well, we spent a few more days there and started to get real agitated/antsy about leaving. Keep in mind, we had three little girls at home missing us and us missing them enormously. They could not be at the hospital because of their age. Once we were finally discharged it felt like a dream come true. We knew we still had a upward battle until his heart surgery but at least we could have some sort of normalcy for a few weeks to months and be a family again. At least we thought. So, we were home with Brody, the girls got to snuggle him, we got to hold him, he seemed so fragile but we knew he still had this VSD to deal with so we were extra cautious. Remember, he’s our fourth kid, so we were use to not washing hands obsessively or others holding him, but because we knew his illness, it felt like he was our first kid in the middle of a Ebola pandemic. Man, we washed hands and wiped down things like no other. Well, we had Brody home fore about 2-3 weeks then the unthinkable happened. This is where we thought, no way things could get worst than what we faced a couple weeks ago….but it did!

This started with our weekly routine cardiologist appointment in concord. At this appointment the cardiologist didn’t love the color of Brody and what his pulse ox was giving. She wanted us to get checked out by the cardiology team at Levines but she wanted us to be transported there from the ER in Concord. So downstairs we go, once we got to the ER, Brody was poked, sticked, and all sort of things for 3 + hours. Not to mention, he can’t eat anything when being evaluated and home boy is like his momma and gets mad if he doesn’t eat. So yea, he was pissed! And when he’s pissed, we could not even give him the comfort we truly wanted because he was connected to so many cords and IV’s. We didn’t have a full sense of what was going on but our hearts were once again torn. I actually wasn’t with Jessica just yet but I was rushing that way. I knew they were going to transport us for at least a night or two HA! So I was packing at home and letting the girls know daddy and mommy will have to be gone for a few days again. Another memory I don’t think I will ever forget is kneeling in my living room, hugging all three girls shaking and tearing up telling them bye. It was such a hard bye because we had just gotten over being gone from them a week and a half. They didn’t fully understand what was going on but they did understand we had to go and that was enough for them to cry out “don’t go!”. NOTHING breaks your heart more then your children crying for you to stay but you cannot. As I sit here typing this, just the memories of that brought me to tears again. After saying bye, I got to the ER in concord, and found out that Brody was going to be airlifted to Charlotte, not so much because of his emergency but mostly because there is apparently a special periatic ambulance but it wouldn’t be able to get there for another 3 hours. In that ER room I questioned them hard and ask if that was absolultey necessary. They assured me it was totally safe and common and the team wants to get eyes on him asap so this would be the best option. I don’t know about any of you but every time I see a medical helicopter or ambulance I always say a quick prayer for whoever that patient is. So never in my 31 years did I think I would be saying a prayer for my own son. At this point, I’m shaking even more and everything around me starts to fade a little. Only jess could ride in the Helicopter with Brody and the team so I jumped in our car and dashed to Levines. The entire way I was just praying and crying, praying and crying! Y’all…. It was 4:49 when I left concord, and somehow made it through 5 o clock traffic and parked in Charlotte (45 mins away) the exact time I watched the helicopter land. The helicopter trip was a 10 minute flight. I believe that as the grace of God that allowed that timing because Jess needed me and I needed her once Brody got to the PICU (pediatric ICU). Because apparently Brody bottomed out on the flight. Jess had no idea, she was sitting in the front and they turned her mic off. In the PICU room they took him in, there had to be 30+ people in there. Seriously it was a tiny room but so many doctors, pilots and crew, nurses, and jess and I found the littlest corner. I held her as they did their thing, which seemed so chaotic but they do this stuff all the time and had everything under control. Most people were so calm, to my surprise the flight crew came by a few days later to check on us and told me they were actually really worried during the transport. I’m really thankful the way they handled themselves and made us feel a little bit of assurance. But, back to that night, for jess and I we still had no idea what was going on. A few hours Ago we were just taking our boy to his routine cardiologist visit. I don’t think I need to even explain our emotions during this time. I mean, with 30+ people in a tiny room we felt completely alone. We could only see a little of his hair, but the next thing we knew, they said, “we need to intubate”……….

4 WORDS THAT CUTS DEEP! We were so helpless, all we had was each other in this time and all we could do is hold each other and pray. In one sense, our marriage has never been more strong spiritually. They asked us to step out in the hallway, when we did, there was no holding back anything. Jess and I weeped so hard in each others arms. I still don’t know how we even were standing. I felt like everything was moving so fast until the point of hearing those words, then suddenly things all slowed down! WHAT IS GOING ON! IS MY SON GOING TO DIE! These were my thoughts that I never said out loud because I was trying so hard to be strong for Jessica! So many questions. Finally, a doctor came out and comforted us in the hallway and made us feel a little more ease by his calmness. Brody was stable at this point but completly sedated with a tube in his mouth. They sedate all intubated patients no matter the age because they don’t want that person moving around. Skipping ahead to the next day, we found out, everything that was going on with Brody was all because he had the COMMON COLD! A FREAKING COLD! This is how fragile our boy was. Regardless, learning he just had a cold was some sort of relief because now we knew something. They said it typically takes 4-6 weeks fort the cold virus to run its course but in the meantime they will treat him with antibiotics incase there is some infection. He actually was extubated 2 days later and did really good with extubation. He lasted hours, I believe almost 12 hours or so. Everyone expected us to be gone within days. He really was doing amazing. But something changed. The doctor even came by and said, “I don’t want you guys to be alarmed but most kids that are extubated needs to be reintubated” however, him lasting so long they thought he was good to go and would move past the PICU with no problem….Then his stats dropped…. After increasing his oxygen we hear those words again, “we need to re intubate”. Once again, words that cut so hard. Nothing prepares you for any of this. I thought I was a pretty strong person but I felt so weak, so helpless. All we could do is pray and believe! im going to save y’all the time for the next few days that turned into weeks that now has turned into more than a month and a half! Yes, we have been living at a 5 -star hotel in uptown Charlotte for more than a month and a half. Brody has been sedated the entire time so we haven’t been able to hold him for a month and half. Our girls haven’t seen him other than FaceTime or his parents together for more than 2 hours for more than a month and a half! NOTHING PREPARES YOU FOR THIS! We would try to see the girls together but when it was time to leave it was like ripping our girls hearts to pieces. They would cry the most saddest cry we ever heard from them begging whichever partner was leaving to PLEASE DONT LEAVE. NOTHING PREPARES YOU FOR THIS!

In the past almost 2 months, Ive had it out with God more than a few times! Wheeping on the floor, “WHY!?” Questioning if He sees us, if He will do it! Then constantly getting a sober reminder from the Lord to surrender. In a way, its really easy to surrender when you have nothing else to give, but the journey there is really hard. One day, before heading back to the hospital, I was packing and had worship music in the background. Thinking about how it sucks that I can’t even hold my son, (you can’t move him while he’s intubated). Having the image of him laying in the bed at the hospital sedated, and I fell to the ground with more tears (I think I cried more cries than I have in my life at this point), I lifted my hands and this is when I had the most authentic surrender to God. This was when I thought, God, even if you take my son, I surrender to you as Lord! I worship you because you are still good. And, in the moment, two things happened, this first things, I was reminded of the most K-Love song from casting crowns,. I haven’t heard this song in years but for some reason, I started singing it: “I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm”

The second thing I was reminded and heard so clearly was, God saying, “you see your son in the bed alone but if you look again you’ll see me in the bed with him”. This was the first time I unintentionally – intentionally consecrated Brody to the Lord. Which means, Brody is God’s son. There has been so many more raw, real moments I’ve had in this season. Moments where I recognize the peace I have that can only be provided through Christ. A Peace that surpasses all understanding. A peace that allows me to be more than just present with my girls. Because believe me, there are moments I just don’t have the strength. But, there are Moments where I have so much hope, and I look around at my life and my wife and kids and Ive received joy. HOW THE HECK DO I FIND JOY IN A TIME LIKE THIS?! But it’s a day to day thing for me. I don’t know what emotion will happen. I could be driving down 85 from the hospital totally fine then in a moments notice Im screaming and crying and asking God why isn’t He healing knowing He can heal! (True story).

Even this most recent failed extubations after failed extubations, I knew the option of a tracheostomy surgery was near and just the thought of that made me weep but when those words were actually confirmed by the medical team that he will need one days later,I was content. So, when people see me around, there really is no telling what I feel so please excuse me if im short sometimes. I really don’t want to sound or seem rude but I’ve been asked a million times , “how’s Brody?” And I can’t say he’s good, but don’t want to say the full story, so I say he’s stable. And I really do appreciate people wanting to know. So please, don’t stop asking!

I am writing this because as Brody is still fighting many battles, I don’t want to forget these minor details and I don’t want to go with out saying the support we have from the community has been extremely grateful. There is no real way to express how grateful we are. We ask for continued prayers in this time. I’ll end by saying this… I see many families in the PICU going through a lot, some with kids that look to be in worse shape. I don’t know what their financial or community background looks like but I just think…. HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU MAKING IT THROUGH THIS IF YOU DONT KNOW GOD! I know for jess and I, there are many days and I mean many we feel completely helpless and hopeless, yet all we have is leaning onto God, and we lean harder. So, what do you turn to if you don’t know God and feel both helpless and hopeless?

**we are still currently in the PICU, waiting for Brody tracheostomy surgery so we can start the process of going home until his heart surgery.